And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
