Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
