matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
