Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
