Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
