I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
