They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I touched a dick in church today
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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