last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
