i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
