He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
