CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
