We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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