So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
