I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
