I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
