My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
