Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
