I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You can't just leave with hair like that
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
