He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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