I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
3pm strippers are depressing
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
