nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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