I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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