i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
