this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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