Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
