Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
