they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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