Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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