why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
