I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
