Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
