Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
