Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
why do cheetos always look like penises
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
