It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
