is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
did you just send me my own nude
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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