You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
