hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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