I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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