Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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