Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
