Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
porn star boner night. come get it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
