Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
