ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
