The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
