Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
