guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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