Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
