this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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