Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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