What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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