you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
