What a fucking waste of an outfit
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
