i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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